When it is your own...

A challenge for me as a motivator, as some people like to call what I do. Because I am a mummy.

When the reality sank that his results did not qualify him to apply for a place at any types of residential schools, it must have devastated him. And I have never seen him so disillusioned and disheartened. A bit earlier I had expressed my disappointment over his poor showing - not so much the end-result, rather the lack of effort I have been observing on his part.

I made it clear that my disappointment was not over his not being able to get into a residential school. I stressed that I was sad he had not taken in what we advised him on earlier which could have made some difference in his results. Personally I am not very much keen on him going off to a residential school; he doesn't seemed prepared for that kind of independence yet.

On hindsight, I could have handled that moment when we reviewed his detailed results for the first time better.  Perhaps I should have looked him in the face as I expressed my feelings about it.  Maybe then I could see his expression and then reacted differently. But I didn't. I just couldn't because I was suddenly engulfed in sadness...for me and for him. He had been so confident he did very well. And he did in some ways...only not good enough to qualify for a residential school application.

Fortunately Allah gave me the opportunity to correct myself. He spent some alone time in his room. And I realised I did not bother to ask of his feelings, only ranted on about mine. So when he came down again, I knew I had to make amends.

Allah is the Greatest, for surely. I went on mummy+motivator mode.  I had to...his face and the way he slumped when I asked him to sit by me told me everything. What we conversed I can't print them down now, not because they were private but because as I am typing this, that moment played back in my mind and I am forced to keep my tears at bay.

Alhamdulillah for to me, this is a curve ball thrown to us as a gentle reminder.  Alhamdulillah for His reminder is that He has other, and perhaps much better, plans for my young man. Just as He had done so for my young lady.